Lost
by hartjlccsu
Summary: Since he war, Harry hasn't been able to pull himself together. Everyone else is moving on, but the images keep coming back. Renesmee has been searching for something ever since Jacob died. This new man across the street smells nothing like any other human before. AU- M for adult themes and later chapters


Harry is alone and he likes it that way. Renesme is looking for something more.

"He could see the deep purple bags that had formed under his eyes. Maybe they had been there since the war. He hadn't really looked at himself in a mirror since then. Their hue was amplified by the dim lighting at the bar. He took another sip.

"He could taste the sweet liquid. Honey Whiskey. It didn't burn like fire whiskey and it wasn't hearty like butter beer. It went down easy because of its sweetness, and then the heat came. If he focused on the sting, he wouldn't see them. The sting was there. The sting was real. They weren't. Not anymore.

"Another?" The bartender asked as he wiped dew from the counter. It was his fifth, maybe, but he had been here a while. He'd lost count. No one was here until around 5, so he could sit all day. He'd drop Teddy off at the bus and then come. Someone would pick Teddy up from school and bring him to their home for dinner. Usually a Weasley now that their family had gained a few more people. Then they'd drop Teddy off and he'd put himself to bed. He was smart for a 7 year old. This was how it had been for the past few years. This is how it was after Teddy found him asleep on the front steps in his own vomit after the muggle bus brought him home.

"Usually, he sat in the same spot; third seat down at the bar. He just wanted to get his drinks faster. The third seat was in the middle and no one sat near him during the day. He liked that. He liked being alone. Some people preferred the dark corners. In the dark corner, he had to wait. Waiting meant the memories would come back. He'd see their faces and her blue spiked hair and his large gash and he just couldn't sit there anymore.

"Mate, do you want another or not?" Roger's brogue was like listening to butter, thick and hearty.

"No. No I'm alright" Harry said to the burly old man. He placed the glass back on the counter. "How much Roger?"

"Only 15 this time lad. Been a slow day for yah." Roger laughed deep in his belly. "See you tomorrow Harry".

"Harry took out 15 quid and put it on the bar. The drinks were cheap here and Roger didn't talk unless he was asking for an order or for payment.

Harry stood up and walked out onto the streets. Like most days in London, it was grey and drizzling. The people didn't notice him here. He could walk down the street in anonymity. Not the chosen one. He was just another drunk stumbling down the side walk. He stopped for a moment to find his cig box in his pocket. He opened the top and popped one out. He placed the short stick between his lips as he looked up. His eyes saw her. A beautiful woman across the street. Her hair deep amber danced across her face as a car drove by. She wore a dark jacket and tight jeans.

As he lit the cig he pretended he wasn't looking. He could look, he thought. Ginny had broken it off with him about a year back once her training schedule had gotten really hectic. That was one of the hardest things, seeing her face everywhere. Rita Skeeter articles and giant posters of Ginny's face were everywhere. That is another reason he liked the muggle world so much. Ginny wasn't here.

"He tossed his match in the gutter and began walking toward the Leaky Cauldron.

She could smell him from across the street. He reeked of think liquor, but under that was something she had never sensed before. He wasn't human. He smelled sweeter. Humans smelled like dinner, he smelled like... a desert. She remembered the pies her grandfather used to make for her in her during the holidays. The crust was hard and crispy. The inside red, sticky and sweet. Her mother and father would watch them all as they ate every bite. She hadn't had desert in a long time. She hadn't eaten food in a very long time.

He perplexed her, this man across the street. What makes him smell that way? Her father used to joke about how her mother smelled better than anything he'd ever known. That was all before she was a vampire though. Maybe that is what this is. Maybe she could taste him and he would be sweeter than any human before or after. It was too early in the day to just attack him. Too many people were around she thought.

That is when she noticed something. Maybe it was the way he brushed his hair from his face. Maybe it was his deep green eyes that caught her attention, but she noticed him. She looked at his face and felt attraction. It was the first time since Jacob died that she felt pulled toward anything or anyone. She needed to get closer, to understand him better.

Her heart was beating fast so loud, she thought other people might hear it. The man across the street began to walk toward the metro. She waited about 30 second before she began following him. She walked down the crowded street, past store and shops and a mother and daughter pair in matching outfits. One good thing about her vampire half is that it made weaving in and out of crowds simple.

"Harry knew it was after dinner and should be heading back. He could head over to the Leaky Cauldron and into the Flu there. That way, he could be home before the Weasleys dropped off Teddy. It would be good to see Ron and Hermione. It had been about a month since he'd been home early enough for the exchange.

All of a sudden he stopped. He wasn't sure why, but he just did.

He was about to head into a doorway to another bar and he stopped. She stopped too and sat on a bench a few feet away. She could still see him through the cracks between people as they walked by.

He turned and looked around. No one of importance was there. No one was following him. He had to repeat it to himself a few times. No one was following him. He stood for a moment. He knew if he took a few breaths, the feeling would leave. One: There is no one behind you Harry. Two: The war is over. Three: You are in London on a muggle street. Four: No one knows who you are. Five: No one is following you.

The feeling wouldn't subside, but some days that happened. Some days his mind could scream it was all over, but his heart felt like he was still in it. He was still running.

The man turned back and continued into the bar. She waited. She waited until the street began to clear and the moon came out full. A full moon, she laughed. She thought of him again. She thought of his eyes and how they were deep like murky water. How underneath a murky pond there is so much life that no one else sees. She saw it. For 5 years she saw it. She though of how broad his shoulders were when he wrapped his arms around her. She thought about the wedding day and how all of his best men wore dog pins as a joke.

She pinched herself. The pain always stopped the thinking. The thoughts would circle around in her skull until she couldn't sleep or eat. But that wasn't important right now. He was gone. He'd been gone. This mystery man was a puzzle she could fix right now.

She stood up and walked across the street to the bar. Maybe she could seduce him and bring him out. Could she be that close to him without attacking him? Yes, she thought. Ever since she started taking after her father ,certain humans became more difficult to be around. But she was strong. She at least find out about him.

She pushed on the door, and looked inside. The pub was small and dark, like most in this area. She took a step in and looked around. Then it hit her like a ton of bricks. Everything smelled so... strange. No one smelled like a person in here. There were wet dog smells and putrid mushroom smells.

She took a quick glance around, but he was no where in sight. She didn't see him leave, she knew that. She had been waiting there the whole time. She never took her eyes off the door. How could she have missed him?

After a moment, she realized the music had stopped.

"Well are you coming in or not deary?" She looked to her left and saw a very, very large man sitting at the table. He smiled.. His long, curly beard was the length of her arm. She knew she was very strong, but she wasn't sure if she could beat him if he was in a foul mood.

I... Um, yes" She stammered and then walked in. Inside was a bazaar of beings. There were small fat things with large noses and very tall, thin, creatures with pointed ears. She had never seen anything like them before.

A small creature that smelled like a rock asked " Are you new?"

"She's just shy" said the hulking mass. "Are you a wizard? Haven't gotten many from across the pond over here." Said the giant.

"I... A wizard? Very funny. Look, I'm sorry to bother you, but I saw a man walk into this bar and..."

"Not a wizard. You can't be a human or else you would have been able to see this pub in the first place. Hmmm. Maybe a half goblin? No too pretty for that. Maybe a siren? Except you don't have gills."

As the giant spoke she searched again. The place was dimly lit, but he wasn't there. She needed to get answers. "Pardon me sir but have you seen-"

"I bet you're a shifter? No they don't exist I don't think. How about half fairy? Too big fer that thought I'd say."

Everyone in the place jumped back. A few people pulled out sticks from under their jackets. One of the small round things pulled out a sword. Renesme screamed and jumped back.

"She can't be a vampire, it's daytime. That means she isn't a vampire." The giant winked at her. "I bet she's just new to this whole thing and is making up stories. Don't worry, I'll take her out back and find out who she is looking for."

The giant stood. His large head nearly touched the ceiling of the bar. A hulking hands gently rested on her back as the giant ushered her out the back door. Behind the bar was a long alleyway. "Now my dear, they can't hear us out here. So tell me, was it a forgetful spell. I can undo that ya know. Though how could you remember if it was a forgetfulness spell if you'd forgotten."

"No, no I really am a vamp... Well I'm half. My mother was a human and my father was a vampire." She couldn't understand why she needed this thing to understand her. She also didn't understand why she wasn't afraid of him. He was so kind and he had only known her for a short time. How could he be so kind?

"Alright, alright, I'll believe you for now. And when we un-jinx you I won't make fun of you for it. Now where is that brick?"


End file.
